Finding Your Tribe in the City

When you’ve lived in the same city your whole life, the people you know accumulates and bumping into an acquaintance becomes more and more of a reality. Even for an introvert such as myself, there’s a comfort and confidence that comes with this.

That being said, while I consider myself a highly spiritual person, most of the people who surround me are not. This has never been a particular bother to me, but the side eye and raised eyebrows I would get when I mentioned “spirit-guides” or “past-lives” wasn’t exactly reassuring either. Which is why when I stumbled upon an entirely new group of women who not only accepted that spirituality, but mirrored it tenfold, I felt right at home.

When I first considered how I’d met this group of women, it was seemingly random. With a little more thought I realized there were in fact moments that because of a little intentionality lead to me to finding my tribe in the city, and here’s how you can find yours too:

Be Unapologetically Yourself

I first began this journey at work, so trust me when I say I understand that sometimes it’s not feasible to show all the colors and shades of you.  That being said, there’s no reason to hide your interests and the essence of who you are.  Something I did early on was bring some of my crystals to work to help with focus and prosperity. After doing this every day for a short while, it wasn’t long until I overheard someone else mention their crystals. Believe it or not, in our small cubicle space of 6 peers, there were 4 of us who had crystals on us and didn’t even realize it! I could have shied away from that conversation out of insecurity for what the rest of my peers at work might think, but instead my new crystal-loving hippy friends and I leaned into it.

On that note…if you’re on the hunt for your tribe, maybe you should bring some crystals to work too!

Be Intentional About Your Time

After meeting my peers at work who shared similar interests, it still took months to develop our friendships and eventually move them out of the workplace. Just like a romantic relationship, jumping feet first into a friendship can lead you to surprises or poorly-matched personalities you didn’t expect.  Especially if you’re in a state where you’re searching for that special person or group of people.  Start with what feels natural, but don’t force interactions or bonding until the relationship is ready to unfold in that way.

Do Make an Effort

While I don’t recommend trying to force a genuine relationship, I definitely recommend making an effort. Whether it’s at work, school, a club, whatever…do take the time to attend what you’re invited to and occasionally even take the initiative to plan your own happy hour or coffee run. I’m someone who initially comes off as very reserved, so these out of the office moments are essential for me, and likely others, to get out of the work brain and actually start getting to know people.

Listen To Your Gut

We know when we’re around someone who doesn’t make us feel good…but have you ever thought about what it feels like when you’re around people that do make you happy? This is another piece of acting intentionally. Pay attention to the way you feel when you’re with people you think could fit into your new tribe and pay attention to feeling depleted, uneasy or on the other hand, calm and comfortable. Your tribe should amplify your inner magic, not take away from it.

Have an Open Heart

I already had a close group of friends and wasn’t necessarily “looking for my tribe” when I started to find them.  On the other hand, I wasn’t closed off to meeting new people either. Everything in life takes balance. If you’re trying too hard you could be putting the wrong energy out there which won’t attract the people you want. If you shut yourself off, you’ll also repel the right people.

Instead, simply have an open and honest heart and you’ll attract others with the same.

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